It was the best of times....it was the worst of times....

That essentially captures pregnancy. As I was laying in bed last night, awake at 2 a.m. because I couldn't sleep, popping Tums like candy in the vain attempt to relieve some pretty fierce heart burn and trying to stretch out a sudden intense leg cramp I was rethinking this whole pregnancy thing. When the pain in my leg slowly subsided I got up for the second time in as many hours to get a drink and hit the nearest bathroom. I climbed back in bed and wrapped my arm around my belly and felt my precious angel kicking away inside me. I won't deny the thought of, "Great it's 2 a.m. and this baby is wide awake. That will make for a good time in a few months." But I let that thought pass and was completely enveloped in amazement and love for the miracle I am carrying. At peace and content with my world I finally drifted off to sleep.
While millions of women have millions of babies all over the world, that fact does nothing to magnify the incredible miracle each new life brings to each new mother. Every pregnancy is special and every woman's experience is unique only to her. This is my fourth pregnancy and the wonder still astounds me. So many things seem to get easier with practice, however pregnancy sadly is not one of them. Each pregnancy has brought its own set of problems, discomforts and even dramas. I patiently waited out an awful first trimester in hopes of the fabled glowing, energy infused second trimester you read about, only to find that as I just moved into my third trimester I'm still waiting for those promises given me by all the baby books. I'm doing my best not to complain, though this blog entry seems less positive than I've intended, and enjoy this last adventure in growing a new life.
The greatest blessing I've received through this process has been the emotional tidal wave I've been riding. That sounds partially crazy, and maybe it is, but the lows I've experienced have served to elevate the highs beyond simple pleasure into total joy. One minute I'm frightened beyond all rationality at the thought of adding another child to our family with all the responsibility that carries. And the next minute I'm imagining what this child of mine will be like and how I cannot wait another second to meet him and introduce him to his 3 brothers. My heart nearly flows over with love for my eternal family every time I think about holding our child who is coming straight from Heaven. Few experiences in this life can compare to being united with a spirit you've loved since before time began and sharing that moment with your co-creator and eternal companion. It's a moment I look forward to with so much eagerness.
Those are the thoughts I try to keep in mind with every discomfort. My latest doctor appointment confirmed my concern of having a hernia. It can be quiet painful when the kids sit on my lap and lean back against my stomach, or when the baby decides to ninja kick me, or sometimes my entire core just hurts and aches. There isn't much that can be done for it at the present time and my doctor just advised me to wait six months after I deliver and have it rechecked to see if surgery will be necessary. So for now, no squats or leg lifts and I should limit packing my toddler all over town. I can handle that!
I'm trying to enjoy every moment of this last pregnancy, because I'm sure one day I'll wish I could feel the sensation of a baby moving from within again or the thrill of having two hearts beating inside me at once. I've got a few short months left and this chapter of my life will be closing so for now I'll strive to stay positive and take every event in stride.